The Preschooler

Getting Messy: Letting Children Be Who They Are

I am the kind of person who likes everything to be in its place.  I prefer things to be neat and orderly.  This is simply the way I work, and it is part of my personality.

When my first son, Brennen, was old enough to start moving around on his own and taking toys off the toy shelf as he wished, I was more than happy to help him line up his toys in rows, from smallest to biggest, of course.  It was also a joy to watch him as he carefully put each toy back into its designated place in the toy room.  This was definitely my child.

Then there is Elliot.  If it had not been for actual birth of this child, I may not have been sure he was mine.  Unlike Brennen, Elliot much prefers chaos and mayhem.  Brennen will spend half an hour lining up his little cars and Elliot, like a miniature Tasmanian Devil, will sweep through and scatter them throughout the room in a matter of seconds.

At first, I had a difficult time trying to figure out what I had been doing wrong in parenting Elliot.  However, I soon realized that Brennen and Elliot simply have different personalities.  They are not me, and even though I enjoy order and cleanliness, it is okay to allow them to be who they are and get messy.

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Written by Laura on April 2, 2009