The Preschooler

Great Expectations

You often see little kids dressed up in outfits that look like miniature versions of adult clothing.  Although this can be cute, the effect is not the same when we actually expect our dwarf-sized counterparts to act as though they were our equals.  It is tough, sometimes, to remember that our children are not simply little adults.  They do not have the same reasoning and communication skills that come with years of experience which we have already acquired.  All too often, we tend to have expectations that are greater than our  little darlings can possibly live up to.

Feelings, for example, can be very difficult to control.  It is hard for an adult to remember to bite one’s tongue when anger is swelling.  Likewise, it can be difficult to use a calm, even tone when speaking with someone who has upset you.  It is no wonder that young children often use mean words delivered at unparalleled decibels when a sibling has stolen a favorite doll or derailed a train.

It takes constant reminding, as well as consistent role-modeling, of how to correctly deal with emotions that tend to elicit frustrating behaviors.  Help your child put their feelings into words.  It can also be very helpful to point out to your child when you have acted in a way that is not appropriate, especially if the behavior was directed toward your child.  Apologize and explain what you did wrong and how you will handle it in the future.  This will help your child see that everyone makes mistakes and that it is important to admit our mistakes and then try to do better.

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Written by Laura on May 5, 2009