Jury, Have You Reached a Verdict?
A few weeks ago, I was in the grocery store where my four-year-old, Brennen, decided to throw his loudest, most obnoxious tantrum of his entire short life so far here on this planet. It began when we were at the entrance of the store, and had to select the perfect grocery cart. This particular store has about four different types of carts from which to choose, including cars in several varieties. Inevitably, my two children each have their hearts set on two different carts. To the untrained eye, they may have appeared to be identical carts waiting side-by-side to be claimed by an elated child. Brennen, however, seemed to know otherwise and was convinced we needed the one on the right. Elliot, my two-year-old, had already climbed into the one on the left. Thus…the screaming and crying ensued.
Life was currently dealing me with what felt like more than my fair share of “stuff”, and I was doing my best to control the situation in a manner such that my child was not rewarded in any way for his actions. I knew that people were watching me, but I could not take him to the car for a time-out, as I usually would, because, as it turns out, this is precisely what Brennen was requesting to do. Instead, a time out was held on the floor next to the maple syrup as we waited our turn in the only aisle in which our giant, Winnebago-sized cart would fit.
I was already close to tipping the balance of my own self-control, when the lady behind me in the checkout line felt it was necessary to express to another customer how she, as a self-proclaimed genius on all things parenting, would have, in her day, given her child a good spanking.
After spending just a few seconds to quench the tips of the fire that had welled up within me, I turned to the woman and asked, “I’m sorry; Are you judging me? Because I feel like I am being judged here.” Of course her reaction was to deny the obvious. “I was just pointing out how it used to be okay to spank your children when they were out of control.” Sarcasm then spewed forth as I retorted, “Oh…yes…I am sure a painful smack on the bottom would stop his screaming in an instant.”
Quickly denying her ill-mannered intentions, she went on to tell me how she had raised two special-needs children who are both now in middle school, as though this somehow made her more of a parent than those of us who, thankfully, were blessed with children without a diagnosis.
I was now holding back tears (which fell like rain once I was in the car where no one could judge me for falling apart), and all I could reply was, “Good for you.”
As a parent, we often feel as though we are being judged by those around us. In this case, I was obviously on trial, but it is at times like these that we must stand firm in our knowledge that we do what is best for our families…even when the jury of onlookers passes a verdict of guilty.
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Written by Laura on September 23, 2009
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